im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
