Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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