Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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