I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
