it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
