My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
