i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
