His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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