You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All the doctor said was why
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
