i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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