Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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