Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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