you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
