I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
