Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My dick has a subreddit
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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