i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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