pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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