I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
