i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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