How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
