Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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