He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you never un-have a 4some
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
