I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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