ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
