hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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