I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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