I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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