He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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