Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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