tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
two words: eviction party
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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