why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
