Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
