its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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