i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
