No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
