I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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