I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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