mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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