i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
