talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
