final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
