Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
