But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
