And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
