She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
