Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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