you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
