I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
