yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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