Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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