Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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